Happy Sunday Serenade, beautiful humans! At the time I’m writing this, it’s Christmas Eve. It also happens to be my mom’s 65th birthday (happy birthday, mamacita!). I’m excited to spend today with one of my amazing kids, baking, decorating a gingerbread row house, maybe watching RENT, and then go out to celebrate mom later tonight. As many of us gather with family (born or chosen) during this time of year, or even if we’re spending some of it alone, it tends to bring up some feels. There can be joy—in simply being together or in the quietude of being with one’s self. And also, there can be a range of other emotions we experience under the surface.
Imagine // Cover
Originally by John Lennon
This song has strong family ties for me, both born and chosen. And every time I sing it, I’m honoring the people in my life who have encouraged me on an expansive, heart-opening path toward love, joy, self-acceptance and peace. My mom is one of those people. But I’m also singing it to those who have actively discouraged that path, both out of a narrow worldview and a place of fear.
When I came out to my dad nearly 20 years ago, he did not accept me or support me in living an authentic life. He didn’t want me to love the woman I loved or raise kids with her. Religion was (and still is) his excuse for shunning the real me and for not acknowledging my family. He calls it an act of sacrificial love. An attempt to save my soul from hell. And that’s his choice. I made peace with it long ago. But my heart still breaks for his daily torment, and that he continues to miss out on the joys of being part of my life.
This past week, I saw him at my Uncle Steve’s memorial service. My dad was the chosen sibling to give the eulogy and he shared some of their childhood memories. My sweet uncle was truly one of the most amazing humans I’d ever known. Although confined to a wheelchair for most of his life, Uncle Steve was joyful, brilliant, hilarious and resilient as fuck. I also learned last week that he was a coach and unsurprisingly inspired many people to realize their potential and pursue their dreams. Of course he was a coach. He was one of my biggest cheerleaders, and loved and celebrated me for exactly who I was.
I hope someday you’ll join us / And the world will live as one.
Uncle Steve was also an avid Beatles fan, and I had the privilege of playing this song at his memorial. As I sang it during the reception, I closed my eyes and remembered him. I thanked him for being who he was in the world and for embodying what it was to choose a path of love, joy, self-acceptance and peace. As I sang the final chorus, ‘You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…,’ I looked around the room to take in and appreciate the family and friends who loved my uncle so fiercely, who celebrated his unwavering compassion, who were grateful for the light he brought to this world. Then I looked directly at my dad, and sang the final line.
I didn’t sing it as an affront, but as an invitation. I believe healing is possible between us. Peace is possible for him if he chooses it. And I wish it for him with all my heart, just like my Uncle Steve would.
Reflection
Where do you wish for more peace in your life?
We can all experience more peace within ourselves. What might be feeling at odds within you? Maybe you’re working through some unresolved tension in a relationship. Or you’re struggling with a big decision. Or maybe you just crave more moments of stillness and intentional self-care. As you’re considering what parts of your life are gently calling you toward greater peace, know that I’m in your corner and I’m cheering you on.
If you or a loved one could use more clarity as we embark into the new year, I’m offering a special 3-session coaching package from now until the end of January. Send me a note if you want to hear more!
Sending much love and peace to you all this holiday season.
